Lost in France

Lost in France
By: Pserendipity (pserendipitydaniels@gmail.com)

"Fuck!" Pep said, even though there was nobody around to hear how annoyed he was, except a large black and white cow who was looking stupidly at him from the other side of a ditch by the side of the narrow road.

Part of the reason that he was so annoyed was that he was having trouble folding the map of Brittany so he could read it, because a strong wind had started blowing from the direction the sun was setting. Another part of the reason that he was so annoyed was that the sun was setting, and he was having difficulty reading the map in the summer twilight. A further part of the reason was that the map was in French, and Pep's French was not as good as he thought it was. The last part of his annoyance was that he was tired, hungry and, although it was ridiculous, horny, and it was looking as if he would not be able to find any food or drink, much less a bed to sleep in tonight, and most certainly not a French maiden to make love to; not even the "jolie laide" that his French cousins had told him, in one of the numerous emails they had exchanged in the run-up to his holiday, was probably his best chance of losing his, until now, well-protected virginity.

Pep was on the first day of a cycling holiday after he had finished his final school examinations before going to University. He had landed in St Malo early in the morning and pedalled fast in the general direction of Rennes, where his French cousins lived. He had been scared to use the N137 main road though, because the large lorries drove past him at such a speed that he was afraid that he might be knocked off by their backdraft. Pep wasn't a great cyclist, but he was a great coward.

As a result he had got lost. The map of the Ille-et-Vilaine area which he had printed off from the internet had proved useless, so he had bought a map from a garage, but he could not understand the signs. Now he kept seeing signs for Saint Gregoire and Rennes, but when he followed them he seemed to be going around in circles!

The cow mood loudly. "Fuck off, you stupid cow!" said Pep angrily.

"Pardonnez-moi?" came the reply.

Pep jumped! He had never heard a cow talk before. Not even a French one.

"Peux-je vous aider? Etes-vous perdu?"

And a smiling face appeared around the back-side of the cow.

Pep's face was turning red because of the sun, but it turned even more red with embarrassment because he was worried the girl might have thought he was talking to her. And not only might she help him find his way to Rennes, she was very pretty. The first French girl he had talked to, and she probably thought he had called her a cow!

"Perdu? Ah, lost, are you?" repeated the girl, in that astonishingly sexy way that French women speak English. "I can 'elp you per-aps?"

"Yes please!" Pep said, with lots of enthusiasm. "I am lost. I need to get to Rennes tonight. I need to meet my cousins in a bar called Le Kenland, in la Place de Lices in the centre of Rennes. In fact I should be there by now! I am late. I have tried to ring them on my mobile phone but it doesn't seem to work. The salesman promised me it would work all over France. I can't understand it!"

"Alors, quelle dommage!" said the girl, sympathetically if a little theatrically, "Per-aps if you come with me you can telephone them from my 'ouse. It ees not far. You can not ride the bike over the field though. You will 'ave to push it. Suivez-moi. Oh. Follow me."

"OK" replied Pep, who would have been grateful for help of any kind at that point; and as he followed behind the girl along the path by the side of the field, carefully watching her bottom rolling from side to side in the tight jeans, he thought that he could not have had more attractive help.

She turned around to make sure he was following her and her loose shirt fell open a little as she did; it was too big for her, and Pep only got a flash, but he could tell that she was not wearing a bra, and he might even have seen a quick sight of a brown nipple. She turned back on her way, walking along the path more like a model on a catwalk than the farmer's daughter she had at first seemed to be.

They walked for five minutes alongside fields with cows in, and some planted with crops that he could not recognise, with Pep looking more at the girl's bum than at where he was walking, and he managed to step in some cow shit as well as banging his legs painfully against his bike once or twice. He kept hoping that she would turn around again so that he would get another look inside the shirt, but she just shouted over her shoulder, "Vas y. Come on! It ees very close now."

After about ten minutes they walked through a small group of trees and a peasant building stood in front of them.

"Chez moi" announced the girl, getting a key out of her jeans pocket, with some difficulty, because they were so tight. She opened the front door. "You can bring the bicycle inside."

He leaned his bike among lots of different size boots against a wall full of coats hung up on nails.

"What are the names of your cousins?" the girl asked "And what are you called?"

"They are twins. Jacques and Jacqueline Gossard" Pep said, "And I am Pep Daniels. It is short for Pserendipity. My parents were on drugs when I was born I think!"

The girl looked at him in a peculiar manner. Lots of people looked at him peculiarly when he told them his name, so he didn't worry.

"Sorry. I should have asked. What is your name?" Pep said.

"I am Audrey" the girl said. "The internet says it ees English and means 'Noble strength' but my parents told me it comes from Latin and means 'daring'"

She said this with a look that defied Pep to contradict her, and she picked up an old fashioned phone.

"There ees a fridge in the back room" she said while dialling. "I need a drink after being out in the sun, and per-aps you would like one too?"

Pep would have killed for a beer after pedalling all day in the hot July sun. He had more respect for the Tour de France riders now! He found the fridge and took out two small and very cold bottles of beer from the fridge, twisting off their caps and greedily licking the froth that foamed out; while in the fridge ne noticed that it was filled with lots of the sort of food he hoped that they would have in the bar in Rennes when he got there. He was starving.

He returned to the room where Audrey had just put down the phone.

"They were in the bar but they 'ave gone now" she told him. "Do you 'ave their 'ome number?"

Pep got out his diary and told Audrey, with her dialling it as he spoke the numbers.

"No reply" Audrey said, after about a minute waiting. She looked at him, her eyes running up and down his body, taking in the sweat stained t-shirt covering his broad chest, the dirty but muscular legs and the tight cycling shorts that left little to her imagination. "My parents are away this weekend. If I let you stay here, can I trust you?"

Pep swallowed. He was very tired, very hungry and even more horny standing in front of this gorgeous French girl whose shirt seemed to have got looser - or had another button become undone while he was getting the beers, because he seemed to be able to see even more of her breasts now? He felt a movement in his cycling shorts, and hoped that Audrey wouldn't notice.

"Can you trust me?" he echoed her words "I will pay you for the beer, if that is what you mean, and if I can have some food I will pay you for that. And I will pay you more if you have a spare bed for me to sleep in. And of course you can trust me to . . . " he stopped speaking because she was looking at him in a way he had never seen a girl look at him before.

"I am an English gentleman!" he said, worried that she was concerned about her honour.

Audrey walked towards him until her shirt brushed his chest, raising his nipples in an unconscious reaction. He looked downwards inside her shirt, and could see both her nipples, which were also hard and sticking out proudly.

She put a hand behind his head and pulled his face towards her so that their lips almost touched.

"Does that mean" she murmured very quietly so that he had to strain to hear her next words "that you will make sure I come first?"

And she kissed him full on the lips with the ferocity of an animal!

Pep's first reaction was surprise, and he jerked his head away, then when he saw the surprise in Audrey's eyes at his reaction, he gripped her shoulders, pulled her to him and met her lips again, this time more tenderly.

After five minutes or so, during which time their tongues became intertwined and Pep felt that he could never break loose from Audrey's grip, nor would he want to, she abruptly pulled away, backing away from him and holding her nose between two fingers.

"But first, my English gentleman, you must 'ave a bath, because you smell worse than that beautiful cow that you swore at today! Take your clothes off."

And Audrey disappeared into the back room.

Pep looked around and wondered what to do. Was she joking? There was nothing false about that kiss. But was she going to play a trick on him? He had still not worked out what the look in her eyes meant. He decided to play along for the moment, and took off his shoes and socks (which were the main source of the smell, from when he had stepped in the cow shit) and removed his t-shirt, so he was standing there in just his tight (now very tight!) cycling shorts when Audrey returned staggering underneath the weight of a big old tin bath.

"This cottage does not 'ave full plumbing, so you will 'ave to 'ave a bath in this" she declared, looking him up and down again, with even more interest now that he was half-naked, it seemed. Why this should surprise him he could not think.

"But you 'ave not done as I told you to. Do you want me to 'elp you undress?"

"Ummm . . .", Pep hesitated, not knowing whether Audrey was joking. She seemed to be very daring, but she also had a twinkle in her eye - and he couldn't tell whether it was lust or laughter. He hoped it might be both.

"I will go and make us something to eat. I expect you could eat a 'orse. And this is France!" Audrey laughed out loud. Her sense of humour obviously included self-deprecation as well as taking the micky out of desperate foreigners.

"There is the jug", she said, pointing out a large pottery urn,"You can fill it from the taps here". And she pushed open another door into what looked like an old laundry, except it had a bright shining new washing machine set by the side of a big old sink.

And she turned on her heels and went through to the back room. Pep watched her jeans fascinatedly as they left the room, and then picked up the jug.

"Oh, and don't use all the hot water," Audrey shouted through the door, "I may need a bath later as well".

Pep was stopped in his tracks for about the third time that evening, this time by the image of Audrey in the tin bath . . .

The bath looked big enough for him to lie down in, and after about ten refills of the jug it was still only half full, but his arms were hurting, so he thought he would just stop filling it and jump in. He slipped off his cycling shorts, with a certain amount of difficulty, as he was surprised to find he was still aroused, and carefully got into the bath, not wanting to splash water on the rugs that covered the stone floor.

"The food will be ready in five minutes" came a voice from the back room. What Pep did not hear was what Audrey then murmured to herself: "Make yourself sweet, Pep, because you are going to be the dessert course!"

Pep lay back in the bath. What was happening to him? He had set off from London this morning knowing that he was on an adventure, but he had never in his wildest dreams expected anything like this to happen. Here he was, sitting naked in the middle of a French farmhouse waiting for the return of a gorgeous French girl who looked like an angel and kissed like the devil.

The thought of the kiss made him smile, and his hands wandered downwards. The bath water was fairly cloudy now from his sweat and the dirt he had picked up on his travel, and although he could not see his cock, he was not really surprised to find that he had become almost fully erect. He rubbed it thoughtfully, leaning backwards. The handle of the bath poked him in the neck, so he slid downwards to lie more comfortably, with just his head out of the water.

"Merde!" came an unladylike exclamation from the kitchen.

"What is the matter?" asked Pep, worried for an unlimited number of reasons.

"Don't worry", came a chuckled response,"I have spilled some soup over my jeans. They were dirty and needed washing anyway".

"Right! Are you ready to eat?" Audrey burst into the room carrying a tray piled with bread, cold meat, fruit and what looked like steaming bowls of soup.

She was only wearing the oversized shirt.

He stared at her.

"What are you staring at?" she demanded. "Oh! I took off my jeans because I dropped soup on them. I took off my panties because they were wet too, but . . ."

She stopped in front of him.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself", she said, setting down the tray on a table, and giving Pep an obviously lascivious look. "Is it a private game, or can anybody join in?"

Pep looked down. His absent-minded manipulation of his cock had encouraged it to grow even further and the tip of it was sticking out of the surface. He could feel his face turning red and closed his eyes in embarrassment.

Which meant that he was completely astonished when, a second later, he felt a hand, softer and smaller than his own, gently close around his cock.

He opened his eyes again, and, no, he was not dreaming. Audrey was leaning over into the bath and was stroking him gently with a look of pure lust on her face. She turned and stared him straight in the eyes.

"I have prepared a full meal, but I have changed my mind about the menu. I am going to have my dessert course first! And that is you!"

With another salacious look up at him, she pulled the shirt over her head, revealing that she indeed had no underwear on, and got carefully into the bath opposite him.

"I know I said I needed a bath after I had eaten", she said, "but this way I can do both at once".

So saying she bent her head forward and kissed his cock gently, licking around the top of it slowly with her tongue, all the while stroking it with her soft small hand.

She looked up at him."This ees my dessert course. Would you mind waiting for yours? I have something very sweet prepared for you."

"Yesssss," stammered Pep, "Whatever you say Audrey".

He could not believe what was happening to him. He lay back in the bath as Audrey wrapped her lips around him, and sucked him sensuously, her fingers massaging him so he was still growing into her.

He groaned. He was not prepared for this, and would not be able to control himself. What would she think of him? An English virgin, coming almost as soon as he started, unable to tell her how he felt except in English, and lacking any experience or expertise in love making at all.

Audrey stopped her head's erotic motions and lifted her face to look at him.

"Don't worry Pep. I know this must come as a shock to you. Do not hold yourself back. That will mean we can make long slow love after we have eaten - and I do not want the soup to get cold!"

And she returned to her task, taking almost all of him inside her, her tongue rolling over his sensitive tip while her hand vigorously pumped.

He, unsurprisingly, noticed a warm feeling rising inside, as he hardened even more. He could not stop himself.

"I am coming!" he said, the least of his schoolboy knowledge being that some girls did not like to swallow.

"Mmmmgoood", came a gurgling sound from Audrey, who sucked harder and pulled him even faster.

And with a ridiculously girlish scream, Pep thrust his hips out of the water, splashing water all over the rug, pushing Audrey back against the side of the bath, and came into her mouth, which was still locked tightly around him.

He pumped into her three or four times more, then, spent, he lay back against the bath handle as Audrey lifted her head off him.

"God!" they both said at exactly the same time.

And laughed. It was not the last time they would do something in unison that night . . .

(To be continued...)